Being that I was a server for 5 years I consider myself a pretty good tipper. So, I feel that I fall under the "Good" tipping status. But there are two different types of good- To me good means you tip according to the service, and not relying on the total bill to help determine whatever amount you feel should be left. If you put on that fake smile, ask how my food tastes, and if you can get me anything else, you're pretty much in the clear.
Anthony is a good tipper as well. But he's a different good. His is in a sense that he tips 18%-20% regardless of how poor the service was. Now that's a pretty good tipper. Following the black book of tipping norms are what some people are taught o believe. Well, I read a different book. I, on the other hand, my fall under being cheap as well I guess. No, maybe just wrong and dirty? I don't know, you determine. If you suck, you suck. There's no squeezing even a dollar out of me. Plan and simple right? Wrong.....not when I'm with the significant other.
It's hard when I go out to eat with Anthony. He always makes me feel like the bad guy. If I feel that service wasn't up to standard I might consider the 15%. If it was just totally bombed, then I say heck with it, I pay the amount on my debit card, put a big ol ZERO on the tip line and then walk out. As we're walking out, here comes Anthony throwing six bucks on the table out of guilt.
"What are you doing??!!" I'll grunt to him.
"Come on, Michelle. You can't NOT tip. That's embarrassing. You use to be a server. You understand how it feels to make a living of tips." He'll reply trying to make me feel guilty.
"Uhhhh, yeah. I was. So therefor I know the importance of delivery and attentiveness. The only time we saw our server was when she actually took our order. The runner brought out our food. A bus boy filled our waters....twice. Another bus boy took away our dirty dishes. Oh wait, we say our server twice because that's when she put on a smile and handed us our check in hopes that we didn't notice that I was STILL waiting for that appetizer she forgot to put in." I pout.
"I just don't want my food spit in next time we decide to come here again. You know, you never forget the face that stiffs you."
*Siiiigggghh* Fine fine.
Now as far as a dirty tipper. These are usually the old men that think their little jokes are actually funny or lame teenagers trying to get a reaction out of you.
Care for an example?-
One time I was waiting on some regulars (that happened to be teenagers that just sat around, sipped on water, and played with their tarot cards.) I knew their order by heart, so I made sure I had their lemon water there ready for them. Instead of actually paying for lemonade they made lemon water. Mmm, how tasty.....
All of a sudden I got slammed with 5 other tables. Of course I admit I totally ignored the teenagers knowing that they weren't going to order anything. Plus, we all knew they always left a 50 cent tip. Who would want to bust their butts for that?? In the end, when the smoke had cleared they were snapping their fingers for the check. I forgot they ordered 1 cup of coffee (but had all their other friends sip out of it because they were too cheap to buy another $1.40 cup.) I was paid in pennies......and after I embarrassingly cleared the table my "tip" was found underneath the sticky coins. Written on the dirty napkin was- "Here's a tip for you: Always use protection. Ha Ha. *smiley face drawn at the end*" With that they actually left me a sealed condom; might I note it was strawberry flavored as well. Bravo Bravo. That definitely got me stirred up. Luckily my manger was very supportive and banned them from coming back. I mean, how stupid to do that at a restaurant you come to every other day?? Common sense, people.
And then there's the cheap tipper. Ah, yes. I actually have a friend that is classified under this group quite well. I have to admit I always dodge my way out of going to restaurants with her. The last straw was when we ate out at Olive Garden. She thought it was suitable to bring her 2 yr old and on top of that ordered him what I was hoping she wouldn't. Yeah, she did.....she ordered him spaghetti! Noooo!! Why?? I don't want my nice clothes ruined as your baby is flinging food in my eye. And the worst part is that I can't even yell or scold him because, well, it's not MY baby. Couldn't she have gotten him chicken fingers? He's only 2!! His appetite is big enough to get satisfied on just 1 bread stick. So, as I'm suffering through this experience the table is getting smothered in marinara sauce, noodles are all over the floor, and bread sticks broken up all over the place.
The check comes and we spilt it down the middle. The server was great and very patient with the wild child. Secretly I felt her pain. That's every server's worst nightmare- babies eating spaghetti.....or crackers. Pretty much anything that will be time consuming to clean up afterwards. So, I lay a 5 dollar bill on the table as part as my tip for the meal. My friend whips out 2 bucks. What?? Are you kidding me?? We have the equal amount of food and you're going to tip less than me?? Actually her bill was more because she had the child size spaghetti, juice, and a soda. Her bill was $10 more than mine and you leave $2!! I don't care if your bill is only $3. If you bring a baby in leaving a mess like the one he did, you better throw in an extra couple of dollars. The server was so nice that she even gave my friend's baby free fruit while we were waiting for the bread sticks to come out of the oven. This is the gratitude she shows her?? I was painfully embarrassed. I asked my friend if she planned on leaving more. She said, "No, why? Two dollars is good! That's the most I ever tip anyway, anywhere, anyhow. If service is mediocre then I tip a dollar."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe I addressed this person as my friend in this oh so public restaurant. It's been 6 months now and still counting. I think she's starting to get the hint that A.) I won't eat out if she has the baby and B.) only if it's somewhere cheap like Bread Beyond. *sigh*
What is your golden rule for tipping?
Here's pictures from our breakfast this morning. Yummy chorizo and steak.
That guy's leg was bigger than the width of my chest!! Whoa...
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