Who, me??

Stuck up.

Ahhh, yes. These 2 little words changed my life. (sort of....Definitely left an impact.)

The very first time I was called stuck up I was a freshman in high school. Fresh into my teenage years.....experiencing  a different side of life.

This boy liked me and asked this classmate of his ( Monique....I will never forget her!) how to approach me.

"Why?? Why do you like Michelle? She's ugly and acts stuck up!" This was her delightful answer.

Well, to much of Monique's surprise we winded up becoming each other's first "girlfriend/boyfriend" relationship....and it was great! We were so happy and lovey dovey. So naturally my boyfriend had told me what Monique had thought of me later in time.

I was in total shock to tell the truth. And not at the fact that she called me ugly......but the fact that she thought I was stuck up. That word (or words) in my mind was defined as someone that was pretty and thought too highly of herself not giving anyone the time of day. I was confused....is this how people saw me as? Or just her? What made me look so stuck-upish anyway??

You know, growing up as a kid when you're quiet it's perceived as being shy. That's all I was....shy. I was new to the whole high school scene, trying to make new friends, shy around cute boys, kept to myself, and stayed away from trouble..... I was just quiet little Michelle. Now Monique on the other hand....she was...well.....definitely not my type of crowd let's just put it that way. Spanish was her first language so I knew she was always talking crap about me to her little clique as my boyfriend and I would happily trollop through the school halls.

Anyway...........

Every since then it seemed like she jinxed me! Maybe puberty created this weird aura that gave off a "stuck up" vibe, but that's all I started to hear the rest of my high school years.

Whenever I made friends and our relationship grew and got closer, my friends would later on reveal that they always thought I was stuck up. They were intimidated by me and didn't know what to think or expect.

What??? How is this possible? Here I am, nerdy video game, cartoon loving girl......all of a sudden transformed into some bitchy looking teenager. Hmmm...must of been the makeup. I did start experimenting with eyeliners and dark eyeshadow..... Maybe this created some shadow effect that made me appear more on the dark side.

So, that little section of my life has always stuck with me. I'm glad it happened (and sometimes still does from time to time) so that way I can improve my first impressions. They say that first impressions are crucial and are determined within the first 90 seconds of introduction.

With me starting my new job this week I really made sure I looked sweet as a doll. I had my orientation the last couple of days so I went around asking my friends and coworkers how to look more approachable/likable/warm/welcoming.....etc.

Boy, did they give it to me!-------

"Yeah, don't wear your hair in a bun. Actually don't even slick it back. You look like... mean. If all possible, wear it loose and free flowing. It's more relaxed and easier on the eyes that way."

"Don't wear your black bold liquid eyeliner. Makes you look intimidating. Stick to a soft brown pencil, skipping the tear line."

"Smile showing your teeth. When you smile with your lips closed it looks fake and some what condescending."

"Don't cross your legs. Keep them down and just cross the feet. This way you don't look so "in demand" and too aggressive."

"Wear a nice warm blush. This will brighten up your face and make your smile look warmer and genuine."

"Wear a nice soft color under your black blazer. Black on black looks too serious."

"Straighten your hair. When you wear it curly it looks somewhat wild and unpredictable. You wanna go for the sweet 'girl next door' look."

"Don't wear any flashy jewelry. Keep it minimum with only 1 ring, and 1 watch, no dangling earrings. Skip the perfume or only use 1 spritz. Just 1!"

"Look engaged and keep good eye contact. Don't look around the room or seem uninterested. Focus on the people interacting with you and try to remember their name! This will leave a great impression."

So......yeah. There I had it. I followed their advice....and I feel everything went smooth. I actually made a couple of new work friends already. I move fast...networking is crucial as you get older.... :)

It is funny how a simple smile can change someone's impression of you, however. Example- There was this other girl in my orientation class. She didn't smile at all throughout the day...or week. She had black bold eyeliner throughout her lids, wearing an all black suit, and kept her arms and legs crossed teh whole time (but her hair was down and straight.) My first impression wasn't that she was stuck up (because we were all quiet and nervous like any normal person would), but that was my ending impression of her. We left and made our way out the door. She was walking in my direction, but avoiding eye contacting (because I held the door open for her) and she just looked right past me (actually down at her dumb phone....pretending she was checking her messages.) No "thank you", no small weak thank you smile, nothing. "Uhh, snooty." I thought to myself. Yeah, had she carried a smile on her....she would've have been a lot more approachable and maybe wouldn't have winded up eating at the lunch table alone....Just saying. Glad I saw it from an outsider's perspective.

Good thing I learned and got my "How-not- to- look- stuck- up" 101 crash course from friends...Now I will be smiling all day everyday....with my hair down.....and not as much eyeliner...


Do you have a secret to giving a great first impression with strangers? :)